15. Excellence vs Perfectionism

Confusing excellence with perfection is something that trips up a lot of designers in running their businesses. Perfectionism can impact every area of your life, and it’s a nuanced topic, so whether you identify as a perfectionist or not, today’s episode might just change everything for you as the CEO of your design business.

For the majority of the clients I work with, excellence is masquerading as perfection. This can manifest as procrastinating starting or finishing projects, being absolutely crushed when a client doesn’t love your selections, or offering revisions outside of your job scope, just to name a few. So, where are you telling yourself you’re striving for excellence, when you’re really stuck in perfectionism?

Tune in this week to discover why not understanding your perfectionism means you’re leaving money on the table. I’m sharing, why trying to create something without fault isn’t actually possible, how to start defining excellence for yourself so you can stop measuring yourself against an impossible standard, and how to deal with the fear that you’ll go out of business if everything isn’t perfect.


Out of Overwhelm is my signature six-month program designed to take you from overwhelmed and stressed to profitable, in control, and fulfilled. Doors open for the next round in June 2023, so if you love the topics covered on the podcast, click here to get yourself on the waitlist!

If you loved today’s topic, let’s make sure you never miss an episode. Follow the show now wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you haven’t already, make the time to leave me a rating and review. As a special thank you for taking the time to share your feedback, I’ll send you a little mid-week pick-me-up in the mail, so simply screenshot your review and send me a message on Instagram!


What You’ll Discover from this Episode:

  • Why perfectionism and excellence become intertwined and confused in people’s minds.

  • How to see whether your thoughts around how much better something could be are really serving you.

  • Why the belief that, “This could be better…” is a punishing thought that creates inadequacy.

  • What it looks like when you’re mistaking excellence for perfection and why doing so leaves money on the table.

  • Why perfection doesn’t really exist.

  • How to come up with your own definition for excellence so you aren’t spending your time trying to work toward an unattainable standard.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, designer. You’re listening to episode 15. This is the one where I’m talking about the difference between excellence and perfection. Whether you identify yourself as a perfectionist or not, stay tuned because this is a nuanced topic, and you’re going to want to be here for the discussion.

Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you're ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you're in the right place. I'm Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer, and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let's go.

Hello, designer. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm so happy to be here with you, as always. I hope you're all having a wonderful week. As I'm sitting down to record this, my dog, Olive, just got back from the groomer, her little doggy spa. They actually have a van and come to your house, and it is worth every extra cent I pay for the service.

Olive is a Parti Poodle, and she's black and white. And when she gets groomed, oh my gosh, her fur is so soft. It is like touching the most luxurious blanket, so snuggly. So I'm here petting her right now. Today we're going to talk about a really important topic that trips up a lot of designers and a lot of my clients, and that topic is confusing excellence with perfection.

I want to talk about this today because it touches every single aspect of your business. It's also something that I've really worked through in my own life. And when I launched this podcast, I had a moment where I could really see and realize how far I had come in this area.

When I think about the me of five years ago compared to now, she would have been overthinking, agonizing over the details of this podcast, and frustrated that I wasn't living up to some ideal I had in my head. And I definitely wouldn't have hired someone to help produce the show because I would have told myself I should be able to figure it out on my own.

And that is such a stark contrast to where I am today. I really believe that this podcast wouldn't exist if I had not done this work around confusing excellence with perfection myself. And I attribute that shift 100% to coaching. And that's not to say that I'm perfect at being imperfect now. That's not a thing.

I notice that in certain areas of my life or my business, perfectionism is now really easy to release. And in other areas, it still feels more challenging. This is probably something I'll always be working on in one way or another. And that's okay, and it's really worthwhile. And I want to bring this to your attention in today's show.

I've been celebrating the listeners who've been leaving reviews on the podcast recently, and I'm so appreciative of all of you for doing that. Today, I'm going to switch it up and celebrate the members of my Out Of Overwhelm community.

I just welcomed another group of incredible clients into Out Of Overwhelm. And one of the first things that we do is set essentials for the six months. And that really is an area or a couple of areas of focus for our work together, so that way, clients know exactly where to put their time, energy, and attention as we move through the materials, and they get coaching support from me.

And it's been so fun to hear from the clients who just started about their essentials. I thought I'd just share some with you here today as a way of celebrating. So, one designer said to have the role she plays as an owner defined with procedures, goals, and systems so that she's ready to hire another employee and train them by the end of the year.

Another client is putting their focus on building a financial foundation. They're going to finish setting up Profit First and those specific accounts. Another client is going to outline project schedules and decide their availability so that they can be more present in their personal and family life.

So I love hearing how all of the different designers use the materials and resources within the program to really customize their experience, of course, with my support.

And I also want to use this as an opportunity to remind you how powerful it is to decide in advance how you're going to narrow your focus, what you're going to take from an experience, what you're going to leave, and where you’re going to put your efforts with evaluating. I share more in episode five, The Power of Constraint, on this concept. I highly recommend you check it out after you listen to this episode.

Now let's dive into talking about excellence versus perfection. And those definitely are two different things. This concept we're talking about impacts you in so many ways. I'd say for the majority of the clients I work with excellence really is masquerading as perfection. And I say masquerading specifically because striving for perfection is often very hidden and sneaky with my clients. And it's probably a little sneaky with you as well.

Excellence masquerading as perfection often shows up in behaviors such as procrastinating starting or finishing something, whether it's a client project or something in your business back end. It can show up as going down rabbit holes with selections. Maybe being absolutely crushed when a client questions something you selected. Offering revisions outside of your scope. Scrapping your whole scheduling plan for the day when one thing doesn't go as planned.

I mean, I could really go on and on. And what I see happen is clients will blame themselves for maybe not being motivated or focused enough when there might be something to explore there, and it's also an issue of excellence and perfectionism being intertwined and confused.

The other way I see this with clients is they will say things like, I just want my clients to be happy. Or I want to get this right. Or this could be better. And while these are all lovely, well-intentioned thoughts, you also need to check in with yourself to see if these thoughts are serving you, these sentences that you're saying as if you're reporting the news.

And when I say serving you, when you think this could be better, what I want you to do is ask yourself, how do you feel when you tell yourself this could be better? What type of action do you take when you think that thought? Typically, this could be better, often feels kind of like a punishing thought that creates inadequacy. I'm going to talk a little bit more about tuning in to the feelings behind your work in just a little bit.

The other thing I want to highlight is that when you're mistaking excellence for perfection, you're often spending time on things that won't make a noticeable difference or making things only incrementally better. You're leaving money on the table often, you're not making progress on important goals, and you're also probably causing yourself a lot of stress and angst. I don't want that for you, and I'm sure you don't want that for yourself. And I want to talk to you about what you're going to do about it.

As always, you have to have awareness first. This can be awareness of the thoughts you're thinking. This can be awareness of how you're feeling and the behaviors you're exhibiting. Know when you're engaging with each of these constructs of excellence or perfectionism so that you can make a decision about how you want to proceed. You have to notice it in order to then make a decision.

Here's how I define the difference between excellence and perfection to make sure that we're on the same page for this conversation. Excellence, to me, really is the quality of being outstanding or extremely good. Whereas perfection, I really define that as the quality of being free from flaws or defects, without fault, essentially.

If you think about that definition, perfection doesn't exist. It doesn't exist in anything. It doesn't exist in anyone. Your version of right could be someone's version of wrong. You making something better could be viewed as lessening the quality for someone else.

I often think about this when I get the latest issue of House Beautiful in the mail. There are some projects in there that I am obsessed with. There are also some projects that I have zero interest in looking at. And House Beautiful thought all of them were excellent enough to be included in the publication.

Everyone has a different opinion, and none of us has to be wrong. The editors can think it's amazing, I can think it's not that interesting, or maybe it's just not my style. I can think it's incredible, and someone else who's reading that same magazine could think, “Not for me.”

The other thing I think is really interesting to think about is that I would bet money that the designer who was published, and I can say this with confidence, because I have clients who've been in this magazine and other prominent publications, that this designer, even though they had a project published in House Beautiful, they will still see things in those photos that they wish they'd done differently or were different.

Trying to make something or yourself without fault is impossible, and it's going to leave you exhausted chasing it. What I believe and hope you consider as well is that excellence in your work and the way that you're showing up in the world is a worthy pursuit. And perfection is an unattainable standard that we need to drop.

If you're on board with making this shift, the very first thing you get to do is define what excellence means to you. If you could write the definition of excellence in your own dictionary, what would you write? And I know this can be challenging in entrepreneurship because of how we’re brought up in school and even the corporate world.

Going through school, we're told that there's a very specific way to do things, and there's a set of requirements you're tested on, and then a very specific way that you're graded. And then you go out into the working world, and there's a defined role you're playing and being measured against. The through line is that someone else is telling you if you're living up to standards, their standards, whether that's an individual boss, the collective school system, or a corporation.

Today, I want to offer you the opportunity to take a stand as the empowered CEO and define what excellence means to you. You really get to decide this for yourself. It's so important that your definition of excellence is centered on what you think about yourself because other people will do a really bad job of validating your definition or telling you that you are amazing in the way that you want to receive it.

Think about the example of someone saying, “I want my clients to be happy.” That's a narrow definition of if you're delivering excellent work. Where does that leave you when the client wants a revision or they don't smile enough when you're presenting? It puts you in a very precarious position. You're essentially putting your emotional well-being in the hands of other people who have a multitude of things going on for themselves and aren't concerned about if you feel excellent or if the design is perfect.

I also want you to consider how you will know if you're fueling your work with excellence or perfection. It's two very different energies. And even though you could say you might end up with the same result, your experience is going to be drastically different of how you experience your day, navigate challenges, and receive feedback. It’s really important to take a look at this.

Ask yourself, are certain behaviors or thought patterns going to tip you off when you're confusing excellence with perfection? What are the things you're going to be looking for? I really like to tap into how I'm feeling to know if I'm acting from excellence or perfection. To me, acting from excellence feels like commitment or dedication to the work. And when I'm acting from perfection, it feels really graspy and fear-based. Kind of like I need to get this right because if I don't, it means something bad about me, or I'm worried about something bad happening.

So what are the signs for you? When you notice you're striving for unattainable perfection, the next step is to decide what you want to do about it. Here are some suggestions. The first is a pause. I am always in favor of a pause. You can always take a little quick break and recenter. Take a deep breath and check in with how you want to proceed.

You can also check in with what expectations you have for whatever it is you're trying to complete or how you're showing up personally and ask, are these attainable or realistic, or even expectations that I want to put on myself? They might even be expectations you've picked up from cultural conditioning that you don't even want to take on.

You can also ask yourself, why am I thinking this needs to be perfect? What am I afraid will happen if it isn't? Lastly, decide what you want to tell yourself and affirm for yourself when you notice you're acting from perfection versus excellence. Decide now how you want to show up for yourself and your clients in a way that serves everyone.

Now, I know you might be thinking, but it does need to be perfect. My clients do expect perfection. If it's not perfect, no one's going to hire me. I'll never win any awards. My business might crumble, something along those lines. Our brains, mine included, like to be dramatic. But this is all very fear-based. And acting from fear is rarely useful unless you're in actual physical danger.

When you act from excellence, it's going to be much easier to tap into confidence and move forward. This is always going to produce better results for you. I also want to offer that you can still be excellent, even when things go wrong, or not as planned, or you miss something. I don't think others expect us to be nearly as perfect as we think.

Consider the grace you give to others. Could it be true that others are offering the same to you? And if you find that you're expecting perfection from other people, then it’s for sure showing up in your relationship with yourself even more. Which means this is really the perfect opportunity to explore this a little bit more.

Here's what I want you to remember today, perfection doesn't exist. Excellence does, and you get to decide that for yourself. Excellence might look different in different areas of your business. And there might even be things you just decide you don't want to be excellent at for now or ever. And then you can stop blaming yourself for being otherwise. Remember, that's always a choice.

I want you to notice when you're trying to be perfect instead of excellent and then decide what you want to do about it when you notice that and act accordingly. When your focus is on excellence versus perfection, you're going to create time and money and also enjoy being with yourself, your clients, and your business exponentially. I really want you to consider the number of hours and dollars you could reclaim just from this one reframe alone. And it will only continue to compound.

How much more quickly could you implement systems and processes in your business? You could use them, see if they work, and then refine them so they work better. How much easier could you delegate to others when you're not expecting perfection from them versus excellence? And really, this is the way to have a kind, nurturing relationship with yourself and be able to gently encourage yourself toward your goals versus pushing yourself to unattainable standards. That is really priceless.

That's what I want you to focus on for the next week. And in the next episode, I'm going to be sharing how to stay motivated. I can't wait to dive into that topic. Until then, I'm wishing you a beautiful week, and I'll talk to you in the next episode.

I'm going to make the bold assumption that you enjoyed today's topic. Let's make sure you never miss an episode. Follow the show now wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you haven't already, I would really appreciate it if you'd make the time to leave me a rating and review. This is how I know what you're loving so I can share more of it. And it's also how you can help others find The Interior Design Business CEO.

As a thank you for leaving a rating and review, I want to send you a little midweek pick-me-up in the mail. Simply screenshot your review and send me a message on Instagram, @DesiCreswell. I'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for joining me for this week's episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools, and strategies, visit www.desicreswell.com. And if you're ready to take what you've learned on the podcast to the next level, I would love for you to check out my signature group coaching program, Out of Overwhelm.

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16. How to Stay Motivated

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14. Making Empowered Decisions