17. The Secret to Being Present: Mini Moments
We can all relate to that feeling of being pulled in a million different directions, like when you’re thinking about work when you’re with your family and vice versa. But you want to experience and enjoy all the areas of your life, and that’s where presence comes in.
Presence: that thing we’re always saying we want but have a hard time being. When designers join my program, working on feeling more present is always high on their list of priorities. Presence relates to connection, which is a basic human need, and it makes a huge impact in every area of your life, especially your interior design business. So, how do you cultivate more presence?
Tune in this week because I’m helping you expand your view of how you define presence, so you can experience more of it. Building your capacity for presence is one of the most important productivity tools available to you, so I’m showing you how to develop the skill of staying in the moment one small step at a time using a concept I call Mini Moments.
Out of Overwhelm is my signature six-month program designed to take you from overwhelmed and stressed to profitable, in control, and fulfilled. Applications open in mid-May and we kick off the next round in July 2023, so if you love the topics covered on the podcast, click here to get yourself on the waitlist!
If you loved today’s topic, let’s make sure you never miss an episode. Follow the show now wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you haven’t already, make the time to leave me a rating and review. As a special thank you for taking the time to share your feedback, I’ll send you a little mid-week pick-me-up in the mail, so simply screenshot your review and send me a message on Instagram!
What You’ll Discover from this Episode:
How a lack of presence causes problems in every area of your life, especially your interior design business.
Some stories from my clients of struggling to stay present in their businesses and personal lives.
How to see where your presence is currently split and how it’s impacting your work.
Why presence isn’t a consistent, steady state, and it’s impossible to be present 100% of the time.
How being more present in your business allows your productivity to skyrocket.
What you can do to start being present in what I call Mini Moments.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Hey, designer, you’re listening to episode 17. This is the one where I’m sharing about how to be present, that thing we’re always saying we want but have a hard time being.
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you’re ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you’re in the right place. I’m Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let’s go.
Hello, designers. Welcome back to the podcast. I’m recording this on a Friday, which is a little unusual. I’m working ahead again. And I’m kind of excited. This weekend we do not have a swim meet. There’s been a lot of swim meets happening in our household lately. My son is trying to get some qualifying times for the regional championships. And there’s one event he’s still trying to get it for and has been trying really hard. So we’ve been at a lot of meets.
And there is something about watching your kid excel at an activity or a sport skill set that you really don’t have much skill in at all. And that is me and swimming. I can swim. I can definitely stay afloat, but because of some ear surgeries I’ve had, water is not always my favorite place to be. My husband jokes that I could win a gold medal in the doggy paddle if that gives you a picture of what I’m talking about. So it’s just pretty incredible to see him go through the water. He makes it look so easy. That’s just amazing. So that’s what’s happening with me.
Today I want to talk about being present. When designers decide to join Out Of Overwhelm, they submit an application to tell me more about their business and what they want to get out of working together. It’s really to make sure that the coaching relationship is a great fit. And it’s also the first opportunity they have working with me to focus on the outcome they want to create versus just focusing on what they’re doing.
It’s a really important mental shift I help my designers create. And the impact is really huge on how they plan their days. On their application, so many designers state that they want to feel more present as a goal of working together. I think this is collectively something that we all really want and want more of. Presence, to me, is related to connection. And that’s a basic human need. It’s something that we all want more of.
And I see presence being so impactful in every area of your life and how you experience it and also what you’re able to create because of it. That’s why today we’re going to be talking about cultivating more presence. I want to expand your view on how you define presence and also how you can experience, and we’re going to do that today together.
Before we dive in, I want to share another listener review because it just lights me up hearing how much all of you are enjoying the podcast and really is encouraging me to just keep it going. So DeAndre says, “Actionable relevance. Desi is bringing the conversations to the design industry that have such powerful resonance. Her engagement and the crisp clarity she shares make her work actionable for anyone who makes time for themselves to absorb what she has to offer. So excited to hear and share the light she’s shining on wellness.”
Thank you so much, DeAndre, for submitting that review. It’s been an honor to know you. DeAndre is Caleb Anderson’s partner and co-founder of Well-Designed, a really cool new organization helping to bring wellness to the interior design organization. I did a panel with them in Chicago, and I’ve done some other webinars. It’s been really fun getting to know both of them. And I so appreciate that you took the time to leave a review, DeAndre.
Be sure to listen to the outro because I’m doing something new, and I think pretty fun for when you leave a rating and review on the podcast. So stay tuned, and you can see what that is.
Now let’s get into the topic of presence. I think we can all relate to that feeling of being pulled in a million directions. Or a really common experience of my clients is that when they’re at work, they’re thinking about their family responsibilities. And then when they’re with their family, they’re thinking about work. They’re in one spot, but their mind or their brain is in a different spot. And then they change where they are, and then their brain goes to the other spot.
I know this was so my experience, and still is sometimes my experience. I think it can be especially challenging when you really do love the work, it’s creative, it’s energizing in a lot of ways, and you really want to experience and enjoy both or all areas of your life.
I also see presence or the lack of presence as a real issue at work. I actually just coached a client on this. She was talking about how during the day, she’ll be doing one thing. But then, while she’s doing that thing, she’s thinking about all the other things she could or should be doing that are related to her business. Even though it’s not, oh, I’m thinking about work when I want to be with my family or vice versa, there’s still the split in presence. There’s the common denominator of not being where you are in the present moment.
Being present really has a ripple effect. Building your capacity for presence really touches everything in your life and your business. And yet, for so many of you, it remains a lofty goal of someday. It feels far away. It’s something that you want, but it also feels really hard and kind of like a new big project you need to undertake. And then you just decide to work on it later. But often, later doesn’t come because it just continues to feel like this hard new undertaking.
The first thing I want you to consider is that you can stop thinking about presence in absolutes. As in, you’re either present, or you’re not. You’re either doing a good job with this presence thing, or you’re failing at it. Being present, the way we talk about it as if it’s this consistent, steady state you’re in 100% of the time, doesn’t exist. Even very experienced meditators I know – Hi to my in-laws, if they’re listening, I know they’re subscribed – aren’t present all of the time. So let’s stop holding ourselves to an impossible standard.
If this is ringing true and feels like the permission you’ve been looking for, be sure to check out episode 15, where I make the important distinction between excellence and perfection. As we explore this topic, I also want you to consider that presence isn’t just a nice to have because it feels good to connect with the present moment when we are with others.
Cultivating presence is also a way to work with that always-in-your-head feeling that keeps us from connecting with ourselves. Presence is also so essential during the work day. It’s how you stay focused and not distracted and how you navigate the discomfort of no longer putting off that difficult conversation with a client who needs to be reined in.
I believe that presence is one of the most important productivity tools you can have in your toolbox. When you develop the skill of staying with what is in front of you, not being in the past and not skipping ahead to the future, the quality of your work and effectiveness in completing your projects, whether that’s client work or in the back end, completely skyrockets.
Now, remember, we’re not aiming for 100% presence all of the time. I’m going to introduce you to the concept of mini moments of presence. This is how you’re going to develop the compounding skill of being present, whether that means being present and focused on your work, your relationships, or whatever it means to you.
Mini moments of presence are a tool that I came up with when I was coaching a client of mine a few years ago. She had made so much progress with getting her schedule where she wanted it to be. She was delegating to her team, setting expectations and appropriate timelines with clients. We covered so much ground. Because of all the foundation she had laid, she was planning to take an entire week off from her business to go to the beach with her family.
She came to the coaching call wanting to talk about being present with her adorable little daughter and husband while she was away. She had things buttoned up on the business side of things, and she also knew that presence was going to be a challenge even though she’d created circumstances that could make presence easier.
This is why I’m always talking about how you have to do the mindset work with the strategy. You can have everything in place to streamline your business, and don’t get me wrong. Those things really do matter. But if you don’t know how to intentionally direct your attention, you can still end up feeling scattered and pulled in a million directions.
At the start of our coaching call, this client was thinking about being present with her family as something she would have to be doing all week long without fail. But it doesn’t have to be that perfect to experience the benefits and the enjoyment. And this is where mini moments become so important.
How I define mini moments are literally moments, even just seconds, of being right here right now. It’s being with what is moment by moment. And it’s okay to be in that moment one second and slip out of it the next. The present is really only being here right now. Everything else is story and imagination. Mini moments are what connect you to the present and help you create presence.
I want to give you some concrete ways that you can start to tap into these mini moments for yourself. The first way is using your five senses; sight, sound, touch, taste, and feel. Let me give you a quick example. Every day I walk our dog Olive around lunchtime. Often I’ll be out, and instead of enjoying the fresh air or the podcast I’m listening to, my mind will want to start to wander and worry about what I’m planning on doing when I get back to the house or how I might not have time to finish something.
But when I notice this, I can take a pause and take a mini moment. I can notice what the air feels like on my face or what my boots sound like on the street. And this could just be moments, and it brings me back to the enjoyment of being outside and moving my body.
During the work day, when my mind wants to wander, I can use this mini moment as well. It can be really simple, like lighting a candle and noticing the smell, or having my favorite beverage and savoring a sip. It does not have to be complicated, big, or long. It’s just moments of noticing.
The second thing you can do is aim to be interested, either with yourself or with another person. This could look like noticing when your brain wants to loop and worry. You can start to be interested in what’s going on for yourself. You might say to yourself, “Hmm, I wonder why my brain wants to ruminate right now. Is it because I’m worried about how the installation is going to go? Oh, well, what about the installation am I worried about? Oh, I’m afraid something will be missing at the installation. Okay, that’s good information to have. What could I do if I double-check? If something was missing, what would I do about it?”
Questioning with interest whatever is happening in your own experience is a great way to bring you back to the present. I also love to use this approach when I’m with my kids. I’ve created a business that I really love, and I often am excited to get to a project or something that I have planned in my business on the weekend. But I also value spending time with my family on the weekend. So I might notice that my brain is in two different spots. Or I might be bored because we’re playing the same game for the hundredth time.
My brain, again, is trying to be somewhere else that thinks it’s going to be better or more interesting. But that’s when I get interested. And I start to wonder, what do they like so much about this game? I might even ask them and listen to hear their response. I try to notice something about the game that I haven’t noticed before. Again, you’re just bringing yourself back to the present. When you tap into interest, you really can’t help but enjoy yourself more. So often, you’re going to be doing those things anyways, so you might as well enjoy it.
A little side note about games, we have got this new one called Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza. It’s a card game, really simple. The cards have pictures of exactly tacos, cats, goats, cheese, and pizza, and you go around, and you’re saying the words.
And when the word you’re saying matches the image, then you need to be the first to slap your hand down. And there are these kind of bonus cards in there as well that are really funny. My kids are six and nine, and they both think this is hilarious. And I really think it’s pretty hilarious myself, too. If you’re looking for a new, easy, fun game, definitely check that one out.
That was a little tangent, but I wanted to tell you about that. Now, the third thing you can do to get back to the present moment using a mini moment is to identify the facts. One of the first things my clients learn is how to separate facts from the story. The story being the narrative you’ve constructed around the past or the future. Facts ground us in the present. They are neutral. The story is what takes us out of the present moment. Whether that’s a story about something wonderful and amazing or it’s something that is not so great and maybe even awful.
Do a little check-in with yourself here. I want to ask you, how often are you imagining how well things will go or remembering the best part of things, or the best case scenario versus how things didn’t work, what you did wrong, how it’s going to be the worst case scenario. I’m guessing the storylines you give the most airtime to are not painting the rosiest of pictures. Your brain thinks it’s trying to protect you from danger, but when we’re in this heightened state of arousal around these negative storylines, we are not able to see clearly.
I was coaching an Out Of Overwhelm client, and she actually came to our call with lots of fears and anxiety around money in her business because she was getting less inquiries. She was envisioning kind of that worst-case scenario that I was talking about. Not being able to pay her bills, her team, all sorts of negative impacts on her business.
And that was totally fine. All emotions are welcome on our calls. And it’s also why we coach. It’s important to have someone, like myself or another coach, that can give you perspective because it’s not always easy to navigate this on your own. Experiencing anxiety, fear, and doubt that’s all normal and part of the human experience. I’m not trying to turn any of you into robots.
What I do want to do is teach you how to use the skills and the tools needed to experience these states less frequently and to recover more quickly when you do experience them. When I was coaching the client, I, of course, knew what some of the shifts were she’d been making in Out Of Overwhelm around her pricing, creating a tighter client filter, and updating her website copy to reflect those changes. I had that running in the background and could see that greater perspective.
When the client came to the call, she wanted to go back to what she had been doing when she started the program, which wasn’t working. Undercharging, taking on non-best-fit clients. And this was when we really needed to pause so we could take a step back and look at the facts.
When we did this, we saw that the facts showed that she did, in fact, have less inquiries in a given period of time. That’s good to know. The facts also showed that she was making more money with less clients and less work. The changes she’d put in place with raising her fees and taking on fewer better clients were working exactly as it was supposed to be working.
She was reducing her hours, increasing her satisfaction with her business, and making more money. Had we not stepped back and looked at the facts, had we not taken a mini moment to connect to what is here in the present, she would have continued to spend so much time and mental energy spinning on this instead of doing valuable work in her business and for her clients.
She might have lowered her rate back to what it was. I mean, she might have even taken on projects that were definitely not a good fit for where she was going. All this from being present for just a few moments to consider the facts. And if you’re thinking, “Oh, well, that’s nice that worked out for her,” separating out the facts could be equally as valuable, even if she’d found that she was not hitting her financial goals.
Here’s why, when we get grounded with the facts, we can step out of spinning in inaction, which is what this designer could have done. And she could have used the data to create a calm action plan where she was back in the driver’s seat. When you’re wrapped up in a story, you lose your agency.
I really want you to think about this right now if you’re worried about the economy. Take a mini moment, and acknowledge the facts of your business right now. And then, decide how can you use those facts to create an empowered action plan depending on your own needs in the present.
You can also use facts to ground you in the present moment when it’s a pleasurable experience that you really want to soak in and enjoy. I’ve really noticed the impact of this when my family is on vacation. We’re off doing something fun, but my brain kind of starts to loop on what’s wrong, what I haven’t done, and what I should be doing. And I can bring myself back to the facts and get back into enjoying.
I can acknowledge that, yes, I am hiking now. I feel the warmth of the sun. I hear my daughter giggle at the funny way she’s walking. The facts bring you back to where you want to be. What’s great about these mini moments is that they start to build on each other. You increase your capacity to be in the present moment. It starts to become a more practiced way of being.
For many of us, just because of the world that we live in, even saying I’m going to really focus on what’s in front of me, whether that’s work or someone you’re with, can feel really challenging. But when we break it into mini moments that can take as little as 10 seconds, we connect back to the presence and reinforce that as a behavior that we want to continue doing.
Your brain is going to tell you that this is absolutely not acceptable, not enough, not present enough. But these mini moments truly do compound. They start to add up. And as you engage with them more and more, they start to become more natural. You start to experience mini moments for longer. You start to feel that connection with your work and the people in your life throughout the day with more ease. You start to notice when you are present instead of constantly judging yourself for not being wasn’t enough.
I started thinking about what happens when you really begin to engage with the practice of mini moments, and so much will open up for you. You’re going to be less on guard, meaning you can be more effective during difficult conversations with contractors, clients, and employees. You’re going to be more focused and efficient in your day, so you can enjoy the presence you create outside of work even more. Your relationships are going to improve.
That is always a really fun side effect for my clients. When we work together, their relationships tend to improve across the board, not just in business but with our partners and kids and friends. When you practice mini moments, you’re also going to be able to make wise, calm decisions in your business that are going to support both the vision you have for your business and its financial future. The impact of presence cannot be underestimated.
I invite you to pick just one of these approaches today, tuning into your senses, aiming for interest, or separating out the facts. Instead of committing to always being present, I want you to commit to using this process of mini moments. If you’re not in the practice of being present, you can always remind yourself to do it. You can set an alarm on your phone, put a few checkboxes on a sticky note so that you’re giving yourself that visual reward. Or even have a phrase when you notice your mind is wandering. I love the phrase “stay here.” It reminds me to stay right where I am.
You really can learn to be more present and then experience the benefits that are far and wide reaching with these mini moments. I, of course, always love to hear from you, so let me know which of these you try out and tell me how it’s going. Let me know what the impact is.
That’s all I have for you today. In the next episode, I’m going to be talking about plugging those time and energy leaks into your business. As always, I can’t wait to dive into that topic. And until then, I’m wishing you a beautiful week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
I’m going to make the bold assumption that you enjoyed today’s topic. Let’s make sure you never miss an episode; follow the show now wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you haven’t already, I would really appreciate it if you’d make the time to leave me a rating and review. This is how I know what you’re loving so I can share more of it.
And it’s also how you can help others find The Interior Design Business CEO. As a thank you for leaving a rating and review, I want to send you a little mid-week pick-me-up in the mail. Simply screenshot your review and send me a message on Instagram, @DesiCreswell. I’ll talk to you next week.
Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools, and strategies, visit www.desicreswell.com. And if you’re ready to take what you’ve learned on the podcast to the next level, I would love for you to check out my signature group coaching program, Out of Overwhelm.
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you’re ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you’re in the right place. I’m Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let’s go.
Hello, designers. Welcome back to the podcast. I’m recording this on a Friday, which is a little unusual. I’m working ahead again. And I’m kind of excited. This weekend we do not have a swim meet. There’s been a lot of swim meets happening in our household lately. My son is trying to get some qualifying times for the regional championships. And there’s one event he’s still trying to get it for and has been trying really hard. So we’ve been at a lot of meets.
And there is something about watching your kid excel at an activity or a sport skill set that you really don’t have much skill in at all. And that is me and swimming. I can swim. I can definitely stay afloat, but because of some ear surgeries I’ve had, water is not always my favorite place to be. My husband jokes that I could win a gold medal in the doggy paddle if that gives you a picture of what I’m talking about. So it’s just pretty incredible to see him go through the water. He makes it look so easy. That’s just amazing. So that’s what’s happening with me.
Today I want to talk about being present. When designers decide to join Out Of Overwhelm, they submit an application to tell me more about their business and what they want to get out of working together. It’s really to make sure that the coaching relationship is a great fit. And it’s also the first opportunity they have working with me to focus on the outcome they want to create versus just focusing on what they’re doing.
It’s a really important mental shift I help my designers create. And the impact is really huge on how they plan their days. On their application, so many designers state that they want to feel more present as a goal of working together. I think this is collectively something that we all really want and want more of. Presence, to me, is related to connection. And that’s a basic human need. It’s something that we all want more of.
And I see presence being so impactful in every area of your life and how you experience it and also what you’re able to create because of it. That’s why today we’re going to be talking about cultivating more presence. I want to expand your view on how you define presence and also how you can experience, and we’re going to do that today together.
Before we dive in, I want to share another listener review because it just lights me up hearing how much all of you are enjoying the podcast and really is encouraging me to just keep it going. So DeAndre says, “Actionable relevance. Desi is bringing the conversations to the design industry that have such powerful resonance. Her engagement and the crisp clarity she shares make her work actionable for anyone who makes time for themselves to absorb what she has to offer. So excited to hear and share the light she’s shining on wellness.”
Thank you so much, DeAndre, for submitting that review. It’s been an honor to know you. DeAndre is Caleb Anderson’s partner and co-founder of Well-Designed, a really cool new organization helping to bring wellness to the interior design organization. I did a panel with them in Chicago, and I’ve done some other webinars. It’s been really fun getting to know both of them. And I so appreciate that you took the time to leave a review, DeAndre.
Be sure to listen to the outro because I’m doing something new, and I think pretty fun for when you leave a rating and review on the podcast. So stay tuned, and you can see what that is.
Now let’s get into the topic of presence. I think we can all relate to that feeling of being pulled in a million directions. Or a really common experience of my clients is that when they’re at work, they’re thinking about their family responsibilities. And then when they’re with their family, they’re thinking about work. They’re in one spot, but their mind or their brain is in a different spot. And then they change where they are, and then their brain goes to the other spot.
I know this was so my experience, and still is sometimes my experience. I think it can be especially challenging when you really do love the work, it’s creative, it’s energizing in a lot of ways, and you really want to experience and enjoy both or all areas of your life.
I also see presence or the lack of presence as a real issue at work. I actually just coached a client on this. She was talking about how during the day, she’ll be doing one thing. But then, while she’s doing that thing, she’s thinking about all the other things she could or should be doing that are related to her business. Even though it’s not, oh, I’m thinking about work when I want to be with my family or vice versa, there’s still the split in presence. There’s the common denominator of not being where you are in the present moment.
Being present really has a ripple effect. Building your capacity for presence really touches everything in your life and your business. And yet, for so many of you, it remains a lofty goal of someday. It feels far away. It’s something that you want, but it also feels really hard and kind of like a new big project you need to undertake. And then you just decide to work on it later. But often, later doesn’t come because it just continues to feel like this hard new undertaking.
The first thing I want you to consider is that you can stop thinking about presence in absolutes. As in, you’re either present, or you’re not. You’re either doing a good job with this presence thing, or you’re failing at it. Being present, the way we talk about it as if it’s this consistent, steady state you’re in 100% of the time, doesn’t exist. Even very experienced meditators I know – Hi to my in-laws, if they’re listening, I know they’re subscribed – aren’t present all of the time. So let’s stop holding ourselves to an impossible standard.
If this is ringing true and feels like the permission you’ve been looking for, be sure to check out episode 15, where I make the important distinction between excellence and perfection. As we explore this topic, I also want you to consider that presence isn’t just a nice to have because it feels good to connect with the present moment when we are with others.
Cultivating presence is also a way to work with that always-in-your-head feeling that keeps us from connecting with ourselves. Presence is also so essential during the work day. It’s how you stay focused and not distracted and how you navigate the discomfort of no longer putting off that difficult conversation with a client who needs to be reined in.
I believe that presence is one of the most important productivity tools you can have in your toolbox. When you develop the skill of staying with what is in front of you, not being in the past and not skipping ahead to the future, the quality of your work and effectiveness in completing your projects, whether that’s client work or in the back end, completely skyrockets.
Now, remember, we’re not aiming for 100% presence all of the time. I’m going to introduce you to the concept of mini moments of presence. This is how you’re going to develop the compounding skill of being present, whether that means being present and focused on your work, your relationships, or whatever it means to you.
Mini moments of presence are a tool that I came up with when I was coaching a client of mine a few years ago. She had made so much progress with getting her schedule where she wanted it to be. She was delegating to her team, setting expectations and appropriate timelines with clients. We covered so much ground. Because of all the foundation she had laid, she was planning to take an entire week off from her business to go to the beach with her family.
She came to the coaching call wanting to talk about being present with her adorable little daughter and husband while she was away. She had things buttoned up on the business side of things, and she also knew that presence was going to be a challenge even though she’d created circumstances that could make presence easier.
This is why I’m always talking about how you have to do the mindset work with the strategy. You can have everything in place to streamline your business, and don’t get me wrong. Those things really do matter. But if you don’t know how to intentionally direct your attention, you can still end up feeling scattered and pulled in a million directions.
At the start of our coaching call, this client was thinking about being present with her family as something she would have to be doing all week long without fail. But it doesn’t have to be that perfect to experience the benefits and the enjoyment. And this is where mini moments become so important.
How I define mini moments are literally moments, even just seconds, of being right here right now. It’s being with what is moment by moment. And it’s okay to be in that moment one second and slip out of it the next. The present is really only being here right now. Everything else is story and imagination. Mini moments are what connect you to the present and help you create presence.
I want to give you some concrete ways that you can start to tap into these mini moments for yourself. The first way is using your five senses; sight, sound, touch, taste, and feel. Let me give you a quick example. Every day I walk our dog Olive around lunchtime. Often I’ll be out, and instead of enjoying the fresh air or the podcast I’m listening to, my mind will want to start to wander and worry about what I’m planning on doing when I get back to the house or how I might not have time to finish something.
But when I notice this, I can take a pause and take a mini moment. I can notice what the air feels like on my face or what my boots sound like on the street. And this could just be moments, and it brings me back to the enjoyment of being outside and moving my body.
During the work day, when my mind wants to wander, I can use this mini moment as well. It can be really simple, like lighting a candle and noticing the smell, or having my favorite beverage and savoring a sip. It does not have to be complicated, big, or long. It’s just moments of noticing.
The second thing you can do is aim to be interested, either with yourself or with another person. This could look like noticing when your brain wants to loop and worry. You can start to be interested in what’s going on for yourself. You might say to yourself, “Hmm, I wonder why my brain wants to ruminate right now. Is it because I’m worried about how the installation is going to go? Oh, well, what about the installation am I worried about? Oh, I’m afraid something will be missing at the installation. Okay, that’s good information to have. What could I do if I double-check? If something was missing, what would I do about it?”
Questioning with interest whatever is happening in your own experience is a great way to bring you back to the present. I also love to use this approach when I’m with my kids. I’ve created a business that I really love, and I often am excited to get to a project or something that I have planned in my business on the weekend. But I also value spending time with my family on the weekend. So I might notice that my brain is in two different spots. Or I might be bored because we’re playing the same game for the hundredth time.
My brain, again, is trying to be somewhere else that thinks it’s going to be better or more interesting. But that’s when I get interested. And I start to wonder, what do they like so much about this game? I might even ask them and listen to hear their response. I try to notice something about the game that I haven’t noticed before. Again, you’re just bringing yourself back to the present. When you tap into interest, you really can’t help but enjoy yourself more. So often, you’re going to be doing those things anyways, so you might as well enjoy it.
A little side note about games, we have got this new one called Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza. It’s a card game, really simple. The cards have pictures of exactly tacos, cats, goats, cheese, and pizza, and you go around, and you’re saying the words.
And when the word you’re saying matches the image, then you need to be the first to slap your hand down. And there are these kind of bonus cards in there as well that are really funny. My kids are six and nine, and they both think this is hilarious. And I really think it’s pretty hilarious myself, too. If you’re looking for a new, easy, fun game, definitely check that one out.
That was a little tangent, but I wanted to tell you about that. Now, the third thing you can do to get back to the present moment using a mini moment is to identify the facts. One of the first things my clients learn is how to separate facts from the story. The story being the narrative you’ve constructed around the past or the future. Facts ground us in the present. They are neutral. The story is what takes us out of the present moment. Whether that’s a story about something wonderful and amazing or it’s something that is not so great and maybe even awful.
Do a little check-in with yourself here. I want to ask you, how often are you imagining how well things will go or remembering the best part of things, or the best case scenario versus how things didn’t work, what you did wrong, how it’s going to be the worst case scenario. I’m guessing the storylines you give the most airtime to are not painting the rosiest of pictures. Your brain thinks it’s trying to protect you from danger, but when we’re in this heightened state of arousal around these negative storylines, we are not able to see clearly.
I was coaching an Out Of Overwhelm client, and she actually came to our call with lots of fears and anxiety around money in her business because she was getting less inquiries. She was envisioning kind of that worst-case scenario that I was talking about. Not being able to pay her bills, her team, all sorts of negative impacts on her business.
And that was totally fine. All emotions are welcome on our calls. And it’s also why we coach. It’s important to have someone, like myself or another coach, that can give you perspective because it’s not always easy to navigate this on your own. Experiencing anxiety, fear, and doubt that’s all normal and part of the human experience. I’m not trying to turn any of you into robots.
What I do want to do is teach you how to use the skills and the tools needed to experience these states less frequently and to recover more quickly when you do experience them. When I was coaching the client, I, of course, knew what some of the shifts were she’d been making in Out Of Overwhelm around her pricing, creating a tighter client filter, and updating her website copy to reflect those changes. I had that running in the background and could see that greater perspective.
When the client came to the call, she wanted to go back to what she had been doing when she started the program, which wasn’t working. Undercharging, taking on non-best-fit clients. And this was when we really needed to pause so we could take a step back and look at the facts.
When we did this, we saw that the facts showed that she did, in fact, have less inquiries in a given period of time. That’s good to know. The facts also showed that she was making more money with less clients and less work. The changes she’d put in place with raising her fees and taking on fewer better clients were working exactly as it was supposed to be working.
She was reducing her hours, increasing her satisfaction with her business, and making more money. Had we not stepped back and looked at the facts, had we not taken a mini moment to connect to what is here in the present, she would have continued to spend so much time and mental energy spinning on this instead of doing valuable work in her business and for her clients.
She might have lowered her rate back to what it was. I mean, she might have even taken on projects that were definitely not a good fit for where she was going. All this from being present for just a few moments to consider the facts. And if you’re thinking, “Oh, well, that’s nice that worked out for her,” separating out the facts could be equally as valuable, even if she’d found that she was not hitting her financial goals.
Here’s why, when we get grounded with the facts, we can step out of spinning in inaction, which is what this designer could have done. And she could have used the data to create a calm action plan where she was back in the driver’s seat. When you’re wrapped up in a story, you lose your agency.
I really want you to think about this right now if you’re worried about the economy. Take a mini moment, and acknowledge the facts of your business right now. And then, decide how can you use those facts to create an empowered action plan depending on your own needs in the present.
You can also use facts to ground you in the present moment when it’s a pleasurable experience that you really want to soak in and enjoy. I’ve really noticed the impact of this when my family is on vacation. We’re off doing something fun, but my brain kind of starts to loop on what’s wrong, what I haven’t done, and what I should be doing. And I can bring myself back to the facts and get back into enjoying.
I can acknowledge that, yes, I am hiking now. I feel the warmth of the sun. I hear my daughter giggle at the funny way she’s walking. The facts bring you back to where you want to be. What’s great about these mini moments is that they start to build on each other. You increase your capacity to be in the present moment. It starts to become a more practiced way of being.
For many of us, just because of the world that we live in, even saying I’m going to really focus on what’s in front of me, whether that’s work or someone you’re with, can feel really challenging. But when we break it into mini moments that can take as little as 10 seconds, we connect back to the presence and reinforce that as a behavior that we want to continue doing.
Your brain is going to tell you that this is absolutely not acceptable, not enough, not present enough. But these mini moments truly do compound. They start to add up. And as you engage with them more and more, they start to become more natural. You start to experience mini moments for longer. You start to feel that connection with your work and the people in your life throughout the day with more ease. You start to notice when you are present instead of constantly judging yourself for not being wasn’t enough.
I started thinking about what happens when you really begin to engage with the practice of mini moments, and so much will open up for you. You’re going to be less on guard, meaning you can be more effective during difficult conversations with contractors, clients, and employees. You’re going to be more focused and efficient in your day, so you can enjoy the presence you create outside of work even more. Your relationships are going to improve.
That is always a really fun side effect for my clients. When we work together, their relationships tend to improve across the board, not just in business but with our partners and kids and friends. When you practice mini moments, you’re also going to be able to make wise, calm decisions in your business that are going to support both the vision you have for your business and its financial future. The impact of presence cannot be underestimated.
I invite you to pick just one of these approaches today, tuning into your senses, aiming for interest, or separating out the facts. Instead of committing to always being present, I want you to commit to using this process of mini moments. If you’re not in the practice of being present, you can always remind yourself to do it. You can set an alarm on your phone, put a few checkboxes on a sticky note so that you’re giving yourself that visual reward. Or even have a phrase when you notice your mind is wandering. I love the phrase “stay here.” It reminds me to stay right where I am.
You really can learn to be more present and then experience the benefits that are far and wide reaching with these mini moments. I, of course, always love to hear from you, so let me know which of these you try out and tell me how it’s going. Let me know what the impact is.
That’s all I have for you today. In the next episode, I’m going to be talking about plugging those time and energy leaks into your business. As always, I can’t wait to dive into that topic. And until then, I’m wishing you a beautiful week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
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Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools, and strategies, visit www.desicreswell.com. And if you’re ready to take what you’ve learned on the podcast to the next level, I would love for you to check out my signature group coaching program, Out of Overwhelm.
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