118. Enough Chances to Succeed: Staying Committed to Pursuing Your Goals
Are you giving up on your goals too soon? When pursuing something new and challenging, it's easy to underestimate the effort, time, and discomfort required to achieve the desired results. We often expect quick success and give up when faced with obstacles or setbacks.
In this episode, I share my personal experience of setting and achieving a challenging goal last year - doing a headstand in yoga. Through this lens, I explore the importance of giving yourself enough chances to succeed and staying committed to your goals, even when progress feels slow or difficult.
Discover how to approach your interior design business goals with a mindset of persistence and belief in your ability to succeed. Learn practical strategies for overcoming obstacles, celebrating small wins, and continually recommitting to your vision. If you're ready to make meaningful changes in your business this year, this episode will give you the motivation and tools you need to stay the course.
If you're interested in working together one-on-one in the fall or winter, now is the time to put your name on the waitlist for private coaching. Click here to secure your spot!
What You’ll Discover from this Episode:
Why we often underestimate the effort required to achieve our goals and give up too soon.
How the speed at which you give up on a goal indicates your level of commitment.
Why a lack of belief in your ability to succeed limits the chances you give yourself.
The importance of recognizing and celebrating small wins along the way.
How to approach your goal from different angles if your initial strategy isn't working.
Why having someone who believes in you and your goals is so powerful.
How to give yourself more opportunities to practice, fail, and eventually succeed.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Hey, designer, you're listening to episode 118. Today we're talking about giving yourself enough chances to succeed. If you're listening to this in real time, consider this your mid January pep talk to keep going on those goals you set at the beginning of the year. And if you're listening to this any other time, it is just as important to remind yourself that when you're pursuing something new, something big, and something you've never done before, it often takes more than you think. I'm gonna be digging into how to keep going. And I'm also gonna share about this topic through the lens of a personal goal I set about achieving last year. But of course, I'll be applying those lessons to your interior design business as we go. Let's dive in.
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you're ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you're in the right place. I'm Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let's go.
Hello, designer, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad to be here with you. This is the first solo episode I'm recording since last year and leaving for our winter break trip. So it's almost been a month since I've done a solo episode. We were in Costa Rica. This is the fourth year in a row we've gone and Costa Rica becomes relevant in the story that I'm going to share today, but a little bit about our trip.
We have gone to the same beach for the past three years and it is just becoming our very little sweet spot where we've got our things, we've got our people. And this year after we were at the beach, we went to a hot springs resort near Arnall, which is the volcano area, which is just lush and gorgeous. And let me tell you, we experienced a lot of rain on this trip, way more than you're supposed to this time of year, but we made the most of it.
And this resort was just like incredible. The number of hot springs and activities you could do outside. Apparently, my husband informed me that the Kardashians have stayed there, which I don't know what that says or if it's a good or bad thing. But regardless, it was very nice and we had a lot of good family time. I ate tons and tons of fresh fruit. That is one of my favorite things to do when I go to a tropical location. And now we're back, we're settling into the new year. Before we really dig into today's topic, which is all about giving yourself enough chances to succeed, and I'm going to be talking about this in terms of my own failures and something that I was pursuing last year. I want to give a quick announcement.
I'm going to be moderating a panel discussion at Las Vegas Market on January 25th. So that's this weekend if you're listening to this episode as it airs. And I'm so excited about it. The panel is going to be incredible. We're going to be talking about marketing. We haven't finalized the title for it at this point, but some really amazing panelists, Brad Leavitt of AFT Construction, Jamiee Rose of Jamiee Rose Interiors, and Melissa Oholendt of Oho Interiors, who's Minneapolis-based. Well, she's actually in Colorado too, but anyways, gotta give a shout out to us Minnesotans.
And the panel is going to be January 25th at 11am Pacific in the Classic Home showroom. And I would love if you're going to be at that market to come to be a part of that conversation and say hi. There's going to be some sort of gathering before, after, maybe both, but I would love to meet you in real life. That would just totally be amazing. So send me a message on Instagram @DesiCreswell if you plan to be at the market, if you're able to come, or if you need more details, happy to share that with you. And I'd love to say hi.
All right, so now let's start talking about today's topic, which is giving yourself enough chances to succeed. And actually, I started the outline for this podcast, I was taking my daily walk on the beach. Oh my gosh, I have to talk about this concept and it seems especially well-timed with the new year and setting goals and thinking about what we want to pursue in the coming year.
And the reason why I feel this is so important to talk about is that I often see, and this has been me in the past too, so I'll totally own that, but I also see it with the business owners that I work with and the interior designers who I know wanna up-level their business, which is probably you, if you're listening to this. And I think what happens is that often when we set a goal or decide we want to make a change in our lives or in our business, we really underestimate the effort, time, and discomfort it's going to require to arrive at whatever results it is we want to achieve, or to establish those routines and habits we want, where it just really feels like, oh, this is just who I am, this is what I do. There's some automatic quality to it, or we have that really tangible outcome of the goal we've set.
And because of this underestimation of the effort involved, I see designers giving up on that next version of themselves or on that next level vision they have for the business simply because they didn't give themselves enough chances to succeed. And this can be at the very beginning of things of like trying and failing once, which I'll give some examples of, can also occur though when we've been trying for a while and it's like we're on that cusp of change and that tipping point is so close, but because we're so in it, we can't see it. And that's when we give up.
So let me give you some examples of what this could look like. And I'm also gonna share a personal example as we go to, but maybe it's, we're at the beginning of the year. This very much could be you. You've got these beautifully formulated goals and they're fresh and shiny and you're ready to take it on. But then you remember the huge list of things you have to do for your clients because that's part of the reality of running the business.
And maybe because you skipped out on CEO time on your calendar last week, you see it slotted for today and you're like, Oh, well, well, I didn't do it last week. It's not a big deal. I just won't do it this week either. Right? I'm probably not going to do that. Or you hit a period where all of a sudden, there's more reactive things going on with your project, or maybe life happens and your family's sick for an entire week, and it's time to get back on track. But because there's been that delay, you don't pick yourself back up and get recommitted.
I see this a lot, a lot, let me tell you, not giving yourself enough chances to succeed when I work with clients on managing their time.
This will look like planning out your day, it's going to look amazing on paper, all the little color-coded blocks stacked nicely, but then they start working the plan and realize, oh, I did not give myself any wiggle room for the unexpected. I didn't even give myself some time to like be human and maybe get a glass of water or stand up. So instead of sitting down and learning from that moment, they just decide they're bad at planning and don't try again. They don't give themselves another chance to learn and grow and get closer to that outcome.
I also see this show up a lot with dynamics and relationships, whether that's with employees or with clients. And we think we've got to have like maybe one conversation. And because that conversation feels really uncomfortable and we like pump ourselves up, we get ready, we get ready, we practice, we rehearse in our head. Oh, and then we forget that it's probably not going to be one conversation. The employee or the client is going to act in the way they always act after that conversation. And it's going to be up to you to follow up with some kind of conversation around accountability or resetting expectations or setting boundaries. And instead of giving yourself a chance to succeed, really having that outcome of shifting the relationship, you assume, oh, well, I just have to deal with it.
I'll give you one more example I see a lot of where it's around PR or collaborations that designers want to secure for themselves. And they get up the courage to reach out once, but then they don't hear back immediately and drop the whole endeavor. They never follow up. Right? Or this could look like you start posting on Instagram, and then you miss a few days and decide, well, I can't be consistent.
So I could go on and on and on. And I think partly this is a case of we're sold processes, we're sold in our marketing three easy steps. And don't get me wrong, processes can be helpful. And even in my own teachings, I try and create frameworks that help give people an opportunity to sort of anchor into the concepts and ways to practice. But I think what we forget when, you know, it's on an Instagram slide where it's like step one two three, and then ta-da, we've got the result.
What can't be communicated in a carousel post on an Instagram page is all that happens between steps one, two, and three to get to ta-da. That requires giving yourself opportunities to succeed. And of course, when you give yourself opportunities to succeed, that also means you're giving yourself opportunities to fail, but both are required. Because giving yourself enough chances at success means putting in the reps. You're giving yourself essentially opportunities to mess up, do it wrong, not follow through, pick yourself back up, learn from what happened and try again. This is really what helps you grow into whatever results you're after.
I was thinking about this so much when I was in Costa Rica over break and specifically in relation to a goal that I had set for myself personally last year. Last year, what I decided was that I really wanted to be able to do a headstand in yoga. I had always thought about it. I'd admired people who could do it. I'd see them at class and be like, oh, that looks so amazing. And said, I wanted to do it, but I never really did anything about it. It's kind of like an admiring goal, but not really a doing goal.
But that changed and at the end of 2023, the beginning of 2024, I can't remember exactly when I made this declaration, but I said, I am going to do this this year and I have a yoga studio that I like to go to when we're in Costa Rica and I told her this is what I'm doing. I worked with her to like understand the steps and the fundamentals and understand how I could practice this on my own because of course I wouldn't have her right there all the time. And I made a decision, this is what I was doing.
And you might be wondering, you know, why a headstand? Why is that important to you? In a way it's kind of random, right? But I loved the strength and the alignment that it would require in order to be in that posture. And the other reason is because it really kind of scared me. And I noticed when she had initially suggested it like a couple of years ago of practicing it, I noticed that there was a huge edge there for me. Being upside down is discombobulating and it feels very out of control for me to be upside down in that way, to really challenge that balance point for myself and potentially fall. And another piece of this goal really was around the fact that I was going to need to prioritize this goal with no real outcome.
I mean, in my life in general, like you could say that being able to do a headstand has no measurable impact. On the surface, just being able to do that, you wouldn't say, oh, well, that's going to make me a better mom or it's going to help me make more money in my business or be recognized by my peers. And just like any goal, I mean, there's those tangible outcomes, but then there's all the internal things.
So of course, like the headstand itself doesn't directly translate to those outcomes. And yet it really does. I knew that there would be growth for me there in terms of the internal growth. And I also saw it really as an opportunity to get over the mental hurdles I had around prioritizing time to do something that didn't seem directly related to some of the goals that I typically would set for myself.
Let me tell you, this headstand practice taught me so much. And it was such a clarifying example of what we're talking about today, of giving yourself enough chances to succeed, because I was literally falling down or falling out of my goal and then having to recommit and giving myself another chance to go at it and eventually succeed.
And as I've been thinking about this, two of the things that became really apparent as I was reflecting was number one, how fast you give up on your goal is a direct indicator of your level of decided commitment. I'm gonna emphasize decided there.
With my example, before last year, I hadn't really decided to commit to this headstand. It was just a wishful goal. I was like, oh, that would be nice. And as soon as I lost the enthusiasm, as soon as I just wasn't in the routine of having someone suggest, oh, maybe I should do that headstand, push me on it a little bit. I forgot about it. It wasn't going to happen. I told myself, yeah, I'll do it tomorrow. Maybe next time, maybe next year.
When you say you're going to do something, you can say you're going to do it.
But until you've really decided you're committed, it is just so much easier to give up or lose track of it. I think it's a really important thing to think about just in this moment of how you decide to do things or how you commit to things. And what is your level of commitment to your decisions? Because it's really not just about, oh, well, then that thing doesn't get done or it doesn't get achieved. But there's a huge component of this where you slowly start to erode your self-trust and your belief in counting on yourself when you don't fully commit.
And that's why I really strongly suggest with, whether it's your planning your day or setting a goal for the year, we wanna think about like, is this something I actually want? Do I see the value in it? And can I really be fully in on this? And being fully in doesn't mean you do it perfectly and never fall off track. But like, are you really committed to it? Because if you're not, it just should not go on the list. Don't tell yourself it's a goal. Because then it's like you're in this in-between of I say I'm gonna do this, but I'm not really gonna do it. Let's be real. I probably am not gonna make time for that. Ooh, and what tension that creates within ourselves. So I think making sure you're really decided. Decide to commit is a huge part of then giving yourself enough chances to succeed.
The second thing I was thinking about is that the lack of chances you give yourself is also a big indicator of the level of belief you have in your ability to succeed. I want you to think about something you totally believe you can do or can achieve. And then you hit an obstacle or roadblock and that might be a bump in the road, but it doesn't derail you because you have that belief. And again, it doesn't have to be 100% belief or you're always believing, but there's this general belief that you will solve the problems and you get where you need to go.
I thought of an example from just the other day, and I think it illustrates this point well. It all started with Sunday dinner. And I'm the meal planner and I'm the lead chef in our house. And on Sundays, we always have salmon salad. And that is a pro tip from a planning expert.
Make decisions ahead of time and repeat some decisions to make your life easier. So certain nights of the week, we always have the same thing. There might be a slight variation like in the types of vegetables I put in the salad, but I know it's gonna be Salmon Sunday.
Anyways, I am doing something, I can't even remember, in the refrigerator, and I realize, oh, I never bought salmon at the grocery store. That's an issue if we're planning to have dinner tonight. Fortunately, my husband, he said I can go get the salmon. So I left to go to yoga actually and he went and got some salmon and then I was going to make dinner after I got home and so I get the salmon out and I realized I also didn't buy the lettuce.
I was so mad at myself for a minute. And I mean, talk about failure. Like, this is failure on a very small scale, but it's just like, come on, Desi, you planned a salmon salad and you didn't purchase either of those ingredients. And they were on the list.
Now, here's the thing. I totally believe in my ability to make dinner. I know I can do it. There's going to be some dinner that my family eats on Sunday night. And now I have one ingredient and not the other. And I can give myself a shot at still making dinner.
So what I did was like, okay, I know I'm going to be able to make dinner. And so I started looking around at what else I had. What else could I make? How could I turn this into a salad still? And I actually ended up creating something really delicious. And because I had the belief that I was going to hit that outcome, I was going to have a dinner.
And I know this is just dinner, but I want you to think about how you approach your goals. If you're believing that there is a solution, that you are capable, and that it could happen. It's very different from hitting a roadblock and thinking, oh, well, I didn't really believe this was going to happen anyways, so I might as well give up. There goes your chances of success.
Giving yourself chances at succeeding means you stay committed and approach the challenges with the belief that you will figure it out and eventually get there.
A big part of giving yourself enough chance to succeed is sticking with a method or a strategy while also learning from what's happening along the way. This all starts with seeing the smaller wins. And this is something you're gonna have to train yourself to look for, but we wanna develop a process of reflection and awareness where you start to see what did work, what felt easier that time, maybe where you showed up differently or reacted in a way you previously wouldn't have, where you move the needle, even if it was just a tiny millimeter.
For my yoga headstand practice, this was feeling a little bit more calm as I walked into the prep posture. The small wins were moments where I kind of held the posture for very, very tiny little second, but it was still there and I was engaging my arms or my feet in a different way as I worked on holding the posture for a few seconds longer.
I also had a huge awareness win at one point where I realized I was avoiding practicing because I was being super lazy about picking up my yoga mat from where I like to keep it for other things and then didn't want to like take the effort to move it to the wall that I needed for practicing. And so I realized I could just put another mat down. It was so great, but it was a win. It was showing myself that I could problem solve.
When you have the small incremental wins that typically we tend to breeze past, instead of saying you have a long way to go, you start saying I'm making progress. And then you pause and ask yourself, What made a difference in that? Why did it work that time or work a little bit better? Do not assign your movement towards success to luck or chance. You created that shift, so own it and then use it to bolster your confidence in giving yourself that next round of chances to succeed.
Giving yourself enough opportunities could also mean approaching the outcome from different angles. If you've tried something many, many times and it's simply not working and you're evaluating and you're looking for the lessons and it's just not working, then ask yourself, what are other entry points or varying steps? Remember, you're believing that the outcome is inevitable because if you didn't, you wouldn't be looking for these other points. Just because you thought the path would look one way, you decide it could look a different way. This totally happened to me with the headstand.
I was trying to do this very specific five-step method, and I was just continuously getting stuck. And so my teacher suggested that I try a different approach. And before I knew it, I was up and I was able to start then working backwards instead of following the progression in one way, I was following it in another. And I did eventually achieve my goal. Very proud to say that of being able to hold that posture. And in fact, it was four days before the start of the new year. So I had to give myself enough chances to succeed for what would that be? 361 days.
That's how long. I mean, I did have moments of achievement along the way where I was able to get up into the posture, but it was in the studio this year, four days before the new year, that I felt like I really nailed this goal. Achieving that floaty yet controlled quality, feeling secure in that upside down position and really strong in my foundation. And it was such a moment to share with my teacher, I had given myself enough opportunities to succeed.
And it was such a reminder too of how helpful it is to have someone to continually plant that seed of possibility and believe in the certainty of the eventual outcome. I of course had to keep believing and it was also so amazing to have her support. And of course, that's what I do for my clients as their coach. I'm believing in your possibility. I'm seeing the best in you. I'm seeing you in your highest potential and continually bringing you back to your goals and the belief that you can do it.
Because yes, I did say, you're giving yourself chances to succeed is an indicator of your level of belief. And just like we're gonna fall out of the posture, as this analogy is going, you're gonna fall out of belief around your goals. That's just one of the obstacles you're going to encounter and need to overcome in order to give yourself another chance to succeed.
As we continue in the new year and look at those changes you want to make, I want you to ask yourself right now, number one, did I really decide to be committed to this? And if the answer is no, we need to look at that. And number two, specifically around this topic is how can you give yourself more opportunities to practice and fail so that eventually you give yourself enough chances to succeed. How can you give yourself more opportunities? How can you create those opportunities for yourself to engage actively with your progress, your momentum, and the actual goal itself.
Going back to some of the examples I shared at the beginning of the episode, this could look like if you allowed someone else's priorities to derail your planned day, then get to know those people-pleasing tendencies, understand them and learn from those insights and plan again and practice holding your own boundaries and saying no. If that magazine pitch you submitted doesn't get a response, go ahead and follow up.
Whatever it is that you want to change, whatever it is you want to uplevel in your interior design business, remember, don't shy away from the practice. Don't shy away from the reps. That is giving yourself enough chances to succeed.
That is what I have for you today. I'd love to hear what you think of this episode. You can send me a message @DesiCreswell on Instagram or always reply to my emails. If you're not on the email list too, make sure you do that. You can go to the link in the show notes or head to desicreswell.com/resources and sign up for Monday Mindsets where I send you quick little notes every Monday morning. If you love the podcast, you're definitely going to love Monday Mindset.
And I'm going to be back next week at the brand new episode. In that episode, I'm going to be diving into the topic of risk tolerance. I coached a client on this and thought we really need to talk about this on the podcast. So if you aren't subscribed to the show, definitely follow along so you don't miss that.
And one last thing if you're gonna be at the Las Vegas market let me know so I can meet you in real life. My panel is January 25th in the Classic Home showroom and I'd really love to see you there. Until next Wednesday I'm wishing you a beautiful week and I'll talk to you soon.
Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools and strategies visit www.desicreswell.com. And if you’re ready to take what you’ve learned on the podcast to the next level, I would love for you to check out my signature group coaching program, Out of Overwhelm.
Welcome to The Interior Design Business CEO, the only show for designers who are ready to confidently run and grow their businesses without the stress and anxiety. If you're ready to develop a bigger vision for your interior design business, free up your time, and streamline your days for productivity and profit, you're in the right place. I'm Desi Creswell, an award-winning interior designer and certified life and business coach. I help interior designers just like you stop feeling overwhelmed so they can build profitable businesses they love to run. Are you ready to confidently lead your business, clients, and projects? Let's go.
Hello, designer, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad to be here with you. This is the first solo episode I'm recording since last year and leaving for our winter break trip. So it's almost been a month since I've done a solo episode. We were in Costa Rica. This is the fourth year in a row we've gone and Costa Rica becomes relevant in the story that I'm going to share today, but a little bit about our trip.
We have gone to the same beach for the past three years and it is just becoming our very little sweet spot where we've got our things, we've got our people. And this year after we were at the beach, we went to a hot springs resort near Arnall, which is the volcano area, which is just lush and gorgeous. And let me tell you, we experienced a lot of rain on this trip, way more than you're supposed to this time of year, but we made the most of it.
And this resort was just like incredible. The number of hot springs and activities you could do outside. Apparently, my husband informed me that the Kardashians have stayed there, which I don't know what that says or if it's a good or bad thing. But regardless, it was very nice and we had a lot of good family time. I ate tons and tons of fresh fruit. That is one of my favorite things to do when I go to a tropical location. And now we're back, we're settling into the new year. Before we really dig into today's topic, which is all about giving yourself enough chances to succeed, and I'm going to be talking about this in terms of my own failures and something that I was pursuing last year. I want to give a quick announcement.
I'm going to be moderating a panel discussion at Las Vegas Market on January 25th. So that's this weekend if you're listening to this episode as it airs. And I'm so excited about it. The panel is going to be incredible. We're going to be talking about marketing. We haven't finalized the title for it at this point, but some really amazing panelists, Brad Leavitt of AFT Construction, Jamiee Rose of Jamiee Rose Interiors, and Melissa Oholendt of Oho Interiors, who's Minneapolis-based. Well, she's actually in Colorado too, but anyways, gotta give a shout out to us Minnesotans.
And the panel is going to be January 25th at 11am Pacific in the Classic Home showroom. And I would love if you're going to be at that market to come to be a part of that conversation and say hi. There's going to be some sort of gathering before, after, maybe both, but I would love to meet you in real life. That would just totally be amazing. So send me a message on Instagram @DesiCreswell if you plan to be at the market, if you're able to come, or if you need more details, happy to share that with you. And I'd love to say hi.
All right, so now let's start talking about today's topic, which is giving yourself enough chances to succeed. And actually, I started the outline for this podcast, I was taking my daily walk on the beach. Oh my gosh, I have to talk about this concept and it seems especially well-timed with the new year and setting goals and thinking about what we want to pursue in the coming year.
And the reason why I feel this is so important to talk about is that I often see, and this has been me in the past too, so I'll totally own that, but I also see it with the business owners that I work with and the interior designers who I know wanna up-level their business, which is probably you, if you're listening to this. And I think what happens is that often when we set a goal or decide we want to make a change in our lives or in our business, we really underestimate the effort, time, and discomfort it's going to require to arrive at whatever results it is we want to achieve, or to establish those routines and habits we want, where it just really feels like, oh, this is just who I am, this is what I do. There's some automatic quality to it, or we have that really tangible outcome of the goal we've set.
And because of this underestimation of the effort involved, I see designers giving up on that next version of themselves or on that next level vision they have for the business simply because they didn't give themselves enough chances to succeed. And this can be at the very beginning of things of like trying and failing once, which I'll give some examples of, can also occur though when we've been trying for a while and it's like we're on that cusp of change and that tipping point is so close, but because we're so in it, we can't see it. And that's when we give up.
So let me give you some examples of what this could look like. And I'm also gonna share a personal example as we go to, but maybe it's, we're at the beginning of the year. This very much could be you. You've got these beautifully formulated goals and they're fresh and shiny and you're ready to take it on. But then you remember the huge list of things you have to do for your clients because that's part of the reality of running the business.
And maybe because you skipped out on CEO time on your calendar last week, you see it slotted for today and you're like, Oh, well, well, I didn't do it last week. It's not a big deal. I just won't do it this week either. Right? I'm probably not going to do that. Or you hit a period where all of a sudden, there's more reactive things going on with your project, or maybe life happens and your family's sick for an entire week, and it's time to get back on track. But because there's been that delay, you don't pick yourself back up and get recommitted.
I see this a lot, a lot, let me tell you, not giving yourself enough chances to succeed when I work with clients on managing their time.
This will look like planning out your day, it's going to look amazing on paper, all the little color-coded blocks stacked nicely, but then they start working the plan and realize, oh, I did not give myself any wiggle room for the unexpected. I didn't even give myself some time to like be human and maybe get a glass of water or stand up. So instead of sitting down and learning from that moment, they just decide they're bad at planning and don't try again. They don't give themselves another chance to learn and grow and get closer to that outcome.
I also see this show up a lot with dynamics and relationships, whether that's with employees or with clients. And we think we've got to have like maybe one conversation. And because that conversation feels really uncomfortable and we like pump ourselves up, we get ready, we get ready, we practice, we rehearse in our head. Oh, and then we forget that it's probably not going to be one conversation. The employee or the client is going to act in the way they always act after that conversation. And it's going to be up to you to follow up with some kind of conversation around accountability or resetting expectations or setting boundaries. And instead of giving yourself a chance to succeed, really having that outcome of shifting the relationship, you assume, oh, well, I just have to deal with it.
I'll give you one more example I see a lot of where it's around PR or collaborations that designers want to secure for themselves. And they get up the courage to reach out once, but then they don't hear back immediately and drop the whole endeavor. They never follow up. Right? Or this could look like you start posting on Instagram, and then you miss a few days and decide, well, I can't be consistent.
So I could go on and on and on. And I think partly this is a case of we're sold processes, we're sold in our marketing three easy steps. And don't get me wrong, processes can be helpful. And even in my own teachings, I try and create frameworks that help give people an opportunity to sort of anchor into the concepts and ways to practice. But I think what we forget when, you know, it's on an Instagram slide where it's like step one two three, and then ta-da, we've got the result.
What can't be communicated in a carousel post on an Instagram page is all that happens between steps one, two, and three to get to ta-da. That requires giving yourself opportunities to succeed. And of course, when you give yourself opportunities to succeed, that also means you're giving yourself opportunities to fail, but both are required. Because giving yourself enough chances at success means putting in the reps. You're giving yourself essentially opportunities to mess up, do it wrong, not follow through, pick yourself back up, learn from what happened and try again. This is really what helps you grow into whatever results you're after.
I was thinking about this so much when I was in Costa Rica over break and specifically in relation to a goal that I had set for myself personally last year. Last year, what I decided was that I really wanted to be able to do a headstand in yoga. I had always thought about it. I'd admired people who could do it. I'd see them at class and be like, oh, that looks so amazing. And said, I wanted to do it, but I never really did anything about it. It's kind of like an admiring goal, but not really a doing goal.
But that changed and at the end of 2023, the beginning of 2024, I can't remember exactly when I made this declaration, but I said, I am going to do this this year and I have a yoga studio that I like to go to when we're in Costa Rica and I told her this is what I'm doing. I worked with her to like understand the steps and the fundamentals and understand how I could practice this on my own because of course I wouldn't have her right there all the time. And I made a decision, this is what I was doing.
And you might be wondering, you know, why a headstand? Why is that important to you? In a way it's kind of random, right? But I loved the strength and the alignment that it would require in order to be in that posture. And the other reason is because it really kind of scared me. And I noticed when she had initially suggested it like a couple of years ago of practicing it, I noticed that there was a huge edge there for me. Being upside down is discombobulating and it feels very out of control for me to be upside down in that way, to really challenge that balance point for myself and potentially fall. And another piece of this goal really was around the fact that I was going to need to prioritize this goal with no real outcome.
I mean, in my life in general, like you could say that being able to do a headstand has no measurable impact. On the surface, just being able to do that, you wouldn't say, oh, well, that's going to make me a better mom or it's going to help me make more money in my business or be recognized by my peers. And just like any goal, I mean, there's those tangible outcomes, but then there's all the internal things.
So of course, like the headstand itself doesn't directly translate to those outcomes. And yet it really does. I knew that there would be growth for me there in terms of the internal growth. And I also saw it really as an opportunity to get over the mental hurdles I had around prioritizing time to do something that didn't seem directly related to some of the goals that I typically would set for myself.
Let me tell you, this headstand practice taught me so much. And it was such a clarifying example of what we're talking about today, of giving yourself enough chances to succeed, because I was literally falling down or falling out of my goal and then having to recommit and giving myself another chance to go at it and eventually succeed.
And as I've been thinking about this, two of the things that became really apparent as I was reflecting was number one, how fast you give up on your goal is a direct indicator of your level of decided commitment. I'm gonna emphasize decided there.
With my example, before last year, I hadn't really decided to commit to this headstand. It was just a wishful goal. I was like, oh, that would be nice. And as soon as I lost the enthusiasm, as soon as I just wasn't in the routine of having someone suggest, oh, maybe I should do that headstand, push me on it a little bit. I forgot about it. It wasn't going to happen. I told myself, yeah, I'll do it tomorrow. Maybe next time, maybe next year.
When you say you're going to do something, you can say you're going to do it.
But until you've really decided you're committed, it is just so much easier to give up or lose track of it. I think it's a really important thing to think about just in this moment of how you decide to do things or how you commit to things. And what is your level of commitment to your decisions? Because it's really not just about, oh, well, then that thing doesn't get done or it doesn't get achieved. But there's a huge component of this where you slowly start to erode your self-trust and your belief in counting on yourself when you don't fully commit.
And that's why I really strongly suggest with, whether it's your planning your day or setting a goal for the year, we wanna think about like, is this something I actually want? Do I see the value in it? And can I really be fully in on this? And being fully in doesn't mean you do it perfectly and never fall off track. But like, are you really committed to it? Because if you're not, it just should not go on the list. Don't tell yourself it's a goal. Because then it's like you're in this in-between of I say I'm gonna do this, but I'm not really gonna do it. Let's be real. I probably am not gonna make time for that. Ooh, and what tension that creates within ourselves. So I think making sure you're really decided. Decide to commit is a huge part of then giving yourself enough chances to succeed.
The second thing I was thinking about is that the lack of chances you give yourself is also a big indicator of the level of belief you have in your ability to succeed. I want you to think about something you totally believe you can do or can achieve. And then you hit an obstacle or roadblock and that might be a bump in the road, but it doesn't derail you because you have that belief. And again, it doesn't have to be 100% belief or you're always believing, but there's this general belief that you will solve the problems and you get where you need to go.
I thought of an example from just the other day, and I think it illustrates this point well. It all started with Sunday dinner. And I'm the meal planner and I'm the lead chef in our house. And on Sundays, we always have salmon salad. And that is a pro tip from a planning expert.
Make decisions ahead of time and repeat some decisions to make your life easier. So certain nights of the week, we always have the same thing. There might be a slight variation like in the types of vegetables I put in the salad, but I know it's gonna be Salmon Sunday.
Anyways, I am doing something, I can't even remember, in the refrigerator, and I realize, oh, I never bought salmon at the grocery store. That's an issue if we're planning to have dinner tonight. Fortunately, my husband, he said I can go get the salmon. So I left to go to yoga actually and he went and got some salmon and then I was going to make dinner after I got home and so I get the salmon out and I realized I also didn't buy the lettuce.
I was so mad at myself for a minute. And I mean, talk about failure. Like, this is failure on a very small scale, but it's just like, come on, Desi, you planned a salmon salad and you didn't purchase either of those ingredients. And they were on the list.
Now, here's the thing. I totally believe in my ability to make dinner. I know I can do it. There's going to be some dinner that my family eats on Sunday night. And now I have one ingredient and not the other. And I can give myself a shot at still making dinner.
So what I did was like, okay, I know I'm going to be able to make dinner. And so I started looking around at what else I had. What else could I make? How could I turn this into a salad still? And I actually ended up creating something really delicious. And because I had the belief that I was going to hit that outcome, I was going to have a dinner.
And I know this is just dinner, but I want you to think about how you approach your goals. If you're believing that there is a solution, that you are capable, and that it could happen. It's very different from hitting a roadblock and thinking, oh, well, I didn't really believe this was going to happen anyways, so I might as well give up. There goes your chances of success.
Giving yourself chances at succeeding means you stay committed and approach the challenges with the belief that you will figure it out and eventually get there.
A big part of giving yourself enough chance to succeed is sticking with a method or a strategy while also learning from what's happening along the way. This all starts with seeing the smaller wins. And this is something you're gonna have to train yourself to look for, but we wanna develop a process of reflection and awareness where you start to see what did work, what felt easier that time, maybe where you showed up differently or reacted in a way you previously wouldn't have, where you move the needle, even if it was just a tiny millimeter.
For my yoga headstand practice, this was feeling a little bit more calm as I walked into the prep posture. The small wins were moments where I kind of held the posture for very, very tiny little second, but it was still there and I was engaging my arms or my feet in a different way as I worked on holding the posture for a few seconds longer.
I also had a huge awareness win at one point where I realized I was avoiding practicing because I was being super lazy about picking up my yoga mat from where I like to keep it for other things and then didn't want to like take the effort to move it to the wall that I needed for practicing. And so I realized I could just put another mat down. It was so great, but it was a win. It was showing myself that I could problem solve.
When you have the small incremental wins that typically we tend to breeze past, instead of saying you have a long way to go, you start saying I'm making progress. And then you pause and ask yourself, What made a difference in that? Why did it work that time or work a little bit better? Do not assign your movement towards success to luck or chance. You created that shift, so own it and then use it to bolster your confidence in giving yourself that next round of chances to succeed.
Giving yourself enough opportunities could also mean approaching the outcome from different angles. If you've tried something many, many times and it's simply not working and you're evaluating and you're looking for the lessons and it's just not working, then ask yourself, what are other entry points or varying steps? Remember, you're believing that the outcome is inevitable because if you didn't, you wouldn't be looking for these other points. Just because you thought the path would look one way, you decide it could look a different way. This totally happened to me with the headstand.
I was trying to do this very specific five-step method, and I was just continuously getting stuck. And so my teacher suggested that I try a different approach. And before I knew it, I was up and I was able to start then working backwards instead of following the progression in one way, I was following it in another. And I did eventually achieve my goal. Very proud to say that of being able to hold that posture. And in fact, it was four days before the start of the new year. So I had to give myself enough chances to succeed for what would that be? 361 days.
That's how long. I mean, I did have moments of achievement along the way where I was able to get up into the posture, but it was in the studio this year, four days before the new year, that I felt like I really nailed this goal. Achieving that floaty yet controlled quality, feeling secure in that upside down position and really strong in my foundation. And it was such a moment to share with my teacher, I had given myself enough opportunities to succeed.
And it was such a reminder too of how helpful it is to have someone to continually plant that seed of possibility and believe in the certainty of the eventual outcome. I of course had to keep believing and it was also so amazing to have her support. And of course, that's what I do for my clients as their coach. I'm believing in your possibility. I'm seeing the best in you. I'm seeing you in your highest potential and continually bringing you back to your goals and the belief that you can do it.
Because yes, I did say, you're giving yourself chances to succeed is an indicator of your level of belief. And just like we're gonna fall out of the posture, as this analogy is going, you're gonna fall out of belief around your goals. That's just one of the obstacles you're going to encounter and need to overcome in order to give yourself another chance to succeed.
As we continue in the new year and look at those changes you want to make, I want you to ask yourself right now, number one, did I really decide to be committed to this? And if the answer is no, we need to look at that. And number two, specifically around this topic is how can you give yourself more opportunities to practice and fail so that eventually you give yourself enough chances to succeed. How can you give yourself more opportunities? How can you create those opportunities for yourself to engage actively with your progress, your momentum, and the actual goal itself.
Going back to some of the examples I shared at the beginning of the episode, this could look like if you allowed someone else's priorities to derail your planned day, then get to know those people-pleasing tendencies, understand them and learn from those insights and plan again and practice holding your own boundaries and saying no. If that magazine pitch you submitted doesn't get a response, go ahead and follow up.
Whatever it is that you want to change, whatever it is you want to uplevel in your interior design business, remember, don't shy away from the practice. Don't shy away from the reps. That is giving yourself enough chances to succeed.
That is what I have for you today. I'd love to hear what you think of this episode. You can send me a message @DesiCreswell on Instagram or always reply to my emails. If you're not on the email list too, make sure you do that. You can go to the link in the show notes or head to desicreswell.com/resources and sign up for Monday Mindsets where I send you quick little notes every Monday morning. If you love the podcast, you're definitely going to love Monday Mindset.
And I'm going to be back next week at the brand new episode. In that episode, I'm going to be diving into the topic of risk tolerance. I coached a client on this and thought we really need to talk about this on the podcast. So if you aren't subscribed to the show, definitely follow along so you don't miss that.
And one last thing if you're gonna be at the Las Vegas market let me know so I can meet you in real life. My panel is January 25th in the Classic Home showroom and I'd really love to see you there. Until next Wednesday I'm wishing you a beautiful week and I'll talk to you soon.
Thanks for joining me for this week’s episode of The Interior Design Business CEO. If you want more tips, tools and strategies visit www.desicreswell.com. And if you’re ready to take what you’ve learned on the podcast to the next level, I would love for you to check out my signature group coaching program, Out of Overwhelm.
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